Sleep Tight......

Have you lately stayed up all night, so that someone you care about can sleep tight! Knowing that you'll be there whenever they open their eyes and need you. It is such an amazing feeling; all the tiredness, all the sleeplessness, everything just fades away....what lasts is a feeling of fulfillment, one of pure joy.... a peaceful silence engulfs everything else. That smile on your beloveds face while they sleep with comfort, because they know that you are there; it is just the most amazing feeling. The clock ticks by your body tells you to rest but your heart is awake, such an awakening... a feeling that makes you special. Living for yourself is easy but what really gives life a meaning is living it for someone else...someone very very special!!!

sleep tight :)

I feel but cannot show......

There is this pain....unbearable, piercing, it's ripping me apart... its like my soul is being consumed....yet those who pass by think i am tranquil.....but that's what the beach dwellers think about the ocean.... serene and calm yet the ocean hides everything....the piercing caused by the rocks that burst open its heart......the burns caused to its soul by the boiling volcanoes.... Like the ocean i feel but i cannot show!

But then there is that diver, who plunges into the heart of the ocean, who looks beneath and beyond the surface.....and then he realizes that beneath this cover of serenity and the joyful dancing waves, lies a heart scratched and scarred, yet capable of producing pearls..... a fury powerful enough to demolish yet it chooses to create.

The ocean despite its might and resourcefulness cannot express everything, it takes that diver to transcend the depths and the myths of serenity to realize that there is more than meets the eye!

I like the ocean feel but cannot show, you like the diver realize what evades everyone else!

The Journey

Passengers meet on a platform, board the same bogey....as the train chugs on they start talking start knowing each other..........but some chose their fellows for the long journey ....they trust and support each other and so the journey begins!! the train slowly keeps moving, many stations, cities and towns pass by. Some people join this journey others disembark, but few pull that emergency chain and bring their journey to an abrupt end. When the mountatins arrive they bring with them twisting and turning tracks and long and dark tunnels, you look towards your fellows because in this shaky part of the journey you need them the most. Their is a strange feeling when you enter the tunnel with one set of passengers and come out the other side with another, but then you feel content; your fellows are still there! But; in a pitch black tunnel when you search for a hand to hold that had been comforting your hidden fear for the darkness all the way and you search and search yet find no one.......and then the first ray of light blinds you for a moment!! you try to look around and when you find that seat beside you empty and the wind fluttering through the open window....what would you feel??

Another one bites the dust.....

The king of pop is no more.......this was the headline that was beaming across all news channels and newspapers..........special pieces were written....all the stuff that you associate with the passing away of a celebrity was there...but i was doing my own thing that i do when a celebrity passes away.......i sit down take a glance at the life that was and then think about.....what was and what could have been.........and in this case what could have been simply outweighed what was!!

In most celebrity cases this observation holds true.........a meteoric rise.....but sadly it all ends in seclusion, pain and a haunting memory of the glory days. So what is the reason? do fame and fortune make a person blind, do the glittering lights make the view of the future a bit obscure???

Do people forget that every rise has an inevitable fall.......that one day youth and charisma will abandon them......does the spur of the moment take away the ability to look beyond today.......or may be its just that today feels so good that they forget that there ever will be a tomorrow may be a bit different from today........ i am no dark soul advocating that no one has a right to enjoy their good today .....all i say is ..if in the glory of today people don't forget the qualities that got them there they would never have to worry about their tomorrows .....

Humility, hard work and the dogged pursuit of their goals .....and most importantly being yourself and remembering where you came from..............the ones who have not forgotten these live on today happy and satisfied even though they are no more the centres of the universe yet they have created their own happy worlds.......nothing can match the glory, glitz and glamour of the hay days .......but nothing is more painful than a cold secluded rot either!!!

And as i end this piece im thinking .....and all that comes to my mind is "another one bites the dust"

Some random thoughts...

As the years pass on and we grow up ...people say we are maturing and as we mature so should our senses but what i feel is that our sense of feeling and appreciating the beauty and intricacies of nature becomes weaker and this is the great tragedy that most of us don't seem to notice, it deprives us of many moments of absolute and pure joy... 

 Reading all this  you would be thinking what am i talking about, what are you missing out on......have you ever taken a moment to think that the aroma of the soil that spread all over the place with the first summer rain , where has it gone missing now?? In the burning June heat that distant 'Amaltas" tree with its blooming yellow flowers seemed to say to you ....nothing can be achieved without hardships my dear friend.....why that tree has turned silent all of a sudden?? or is it still whispering.. may its just our "maturing" that has led us to believe trees don't speak...not anymore!!

Do you miss the feeling that the dancing flame of a candle brought on a chilly December night?? Have you ever counted the shining stars on a dark winter night .....Do you miss the feeling of joy that just the announcement of summer holidays brought.....have you lately felt that you are not enjoying Eids as you used to do??.......these and many more examples make me believe that as the curtains fall on the age of innocence ...the small moments of happiness and joys get lost in the crowd of thoughts going through your head.....we strive for so much yet we let this amazing ability ....this magical gift slip through our fingers.....

Sit alone for a while and think and trust me you would come up with your own list...and may be you will finally realize what you are missing out on

Holding on and letting go.....

There is a  time in life when you have to decide whether to hold on or to let go...of people, of memories or of relationships. These are tough times and even when i have found myself at such cross roads..there's no clear answer....no single option to accept...just no easy way out. And unlike the numerous reality shows there's no 50 50 option, no phone a friend...you just have to roll up your sleeves and face it yourself. Weather we accept it or not most of us have been through such times and most of us have gladly held on the pain and the hurt waiting for times to change. I am no expert on this topic but i will just narrate a small event that happened once, when i was a little boy i climbed a tree, all of a sudden i lost my balance and fell down.....i desperately tried and finally held onto one branch.....i was stuck and frantically calling for help but no one was close by, i held on for almost fifteen minutes and then could take no more, i fell down and fainted. When i awoke all i remembered was the pain of holding on.......and that feeling, that amazing feeling of letting go!  

Super Heroes..with a dark side

its a bird!! no, its a plane!!....no its superman.....all the people who grew up in the 80s n 90s should have heard these lines again and again......in my childhood the tele was filled with toon superheroes of all shapes sizes and having all sort of superhuman abilities ...and almost all of us had favourites and i remember most of my class fellows liked superman and guys like that but for me he was too good to be real...way too perfect to be inspiring.....but i always liked heroes of a different kind, I've always fancied heroes with a dark side ....characters like batman, the hulk and in recent times the wolverine have always seemed much more real, much more inspiring. 

My be it is so....because we all have a dark side to us! a side that we hide, despise and try to do away with. We are scared of it, without remembering that it is as much a part of us as flesh and blood. For some it is their past that haunts them, for some it is their highly inflammable anger & rebellious thoughts and for some their dark side haunts them as unfulfilled wishes, desires and destiny. 

It is only now that i have realized why those characters seemed much more believable than the Mr perfects. Now i know that all of us have a hidden dark side and only those are superheroes who accept it as a part of themselves yet never shy away from saying or doing whats right. This might be a scarce breed of men but look around.... you may find some, better still look inside and you may find one!!

Saving energy......power minister's style

I come back home and turn on the tele and there he is ... a smile on his face...starched clothes... that smile glorified by the many thousand watt lights and he is standing there telling me that i should turn off that extra light that i installed in the street so that next time someone shouldn't trip and fall into that gaping main hole.....hhmmm good idea 

i listen intently to his golden piece of advice ..he delivers a great lecture and lays down some responsibilities for the people ...we have to save energy he says!!  and he has some great plans.... lets shut down all the useless appliances starting with that microphone he's using...he's repeating that same speech everyday so whats the use of the microphone......so now lets decide whats next...hhmmm lets switch off all the street lights.. the people have become so trained to continue their lives in the dark... they'll surely manage walking in the streets and driving on roads ..... now lets look around what else is wasting energy......ah well its my laptop...so I'm turning it off ...this post will have to stop here.......

History ...and the present

They say,when Rome was burning Nero was playing his flute. Fast forward a few thousand years and look around for a while, find any resemblances??? and this is not the first time, haven't we been here before?? may be not our generation but, people couple of generations old and those who take the time to go through the pages of history would realize what i am talking about.All the symptoms are there yet the Messiahs have decided to close there eyes. 

 Apathy has gripped those who should have been at the forefront to stop this fire. And no one can say that there was no warning, there have been flashes near the hay stack before yet we did not understand, now with the fire raging with all its fury we are still clueless, we ask how did it happen? There is a fire in our backyard but we have become so senseless that the heat doesn't even make us sweat. 

  There are wolves in the barn yet the shepherd sleeps peacefully, you can't blame the wolves for it is there nature to devour. We have been dissected before to feed the hungry wolves, knives have been drawn once again as the hunger of these blood thirsty animals grows everyday. There failure to devour us completely in the past fuels their hatred, but as i said we cannot blame the wolves because they are merely following their instincts, the fault is at our end, our weakness and divisions have made us vulnerable. We have forgotten that alone there are five fingers which can be broken one by one, together they form a fist that may be broken but not before it has caused some discomfort. We have forgotten the dream that bound us together, we are 'we' no more! It is group of too many "i's" and "me's". 

 17 killed in the past three days, killed by those who should have been standing by their side. Our forefathers bled together to nurture our land, today we kill each other not realizing that the dead were our brothers and their demise eventually leads to our weakness. 

 Where are the Messiahs? where are those who would march to stop a brother killing a brother ? sadly there is none! 

 As brother slaughters brother, and as we sacrifice the whole to get our individual pieces another day passes and becomes a part of the past, becomes history. The sad part is when i turn the pages of our history i realize, there is just one thing that we have learned from history and that is our inability to learn anything from history.

Watching it going down the drain......silently

Water... the basic element for the existence and survival of life anywhere.....yet nature distributed it in its own unique way..there are places engulfed by water and places where a glass full is a blessing. When distributing this great treasure nature was kind to us,we live in a land of five rivers ... these rivers like veins carry life to every part of our land. When the blood flow stops, life comes to an end and death reins supreme....... for centuries these rivers have nurtured life, culture and traditions in this land but now as the blood flow weakens it is affecting the very basis of life. We watch this calamity taking place before our very eyes yet we chose to remain silent..... have we ever thought what is the reason that our riverbeds are becoming barren deserts......why our carriers of life are struggling for their own existence? 

 The analogy to veins makes the answer easier to explain......when jackals kill a strong prey they attack the jugular and then slowly the strength is sapped and the prey is killed......you ask why this land is weakening??? the answer is simple its jugular is in the clutches of jackals that are slowly sapping away its strength...trying to bring it to an end.....whether they succeed or not.... only time and the decisions we make will dictate the result.

Our source of life...the precious water is being stolen, diverted and stored as we silently watch, doing nothing but making weak protests by playing around with words while the enemy is making its actions speak louder than words. 

There's an old saying that a wise enemy is better than a foolish friend but in our case we are in a dilemma who's the enemy here ??? those fools that sit and watch the enemy have its way with something that belongs to this nation and its people or the wise enemy who is slowly sapping our strength.

Have as many composite dialogues as you want but if you forget the very cause of the disease , how do you intend to cure it?? Many many years ago a man, whom we have confined to wall hangings had told us that Kashmir is our jugular vein....but like many of his other sayings we have forgotten this one as well.......but even more pain full is the fact that our leaders have forgotten that without freeing the jugular from the enemies clutches there will be no water...no life ............no future!!!  May be there future is not linked to the existence of this land but where will you and i go and where will the 16 million people go, most of whom are ignorant of the approaching disaster.........it is time we speak up and let our leaders know that we will not let linguistic differences,  inter provincial hatred and the politics of greed make us forget this very serious and realistic problem...it is time to wake up and stop watching out future and life going down the drain....stop being silent and doing nothing it is time we gathered all the strength and intelligence we have and try to free our jugular from the clutches of the enemy.The vultures are already flexing their muscles to have a feast once the jackals have ravaged the lifeless carcass. Our source of life and existence is linked to our actions....and for all those who chose to remain silent for whatever reason i quote "In the end we will not remember the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends".

Rain, wind and the echoing silence

Today it rained and rained....; i silently watched it from my office window...the occasional clatter of thunder and lightning broke the flow of my thoughts ...i haven't written anything in days and wanted to write something but somehow for some strange reason couldn't gather those wild flying thoughts......just couldn't putt them together.....and then i thought sometimes its better not to say anything...sometimes silence has to be heard, felt and understood. Words become meaningless, they have too many limitations to convey what you want to say and express...but the urge to express is just too overwhelming. 

The constantly falling rain just won't go away and its drops and that aroma of soil mixed in the air and the feelings and emotions carried by the wind, just kept knocking the door of my senses, forcing to me to let my thoughts free, let them fly and join the wind on its never ending journey and mix with the aroma.... to be felt like the rain drops on the soil and not read like a combination of words.

As i stare out of the window, the wind just whispers to me, "the urge to write and express may be stronger but stronger still is the feeling of enjoying the silence echo and to be free from the bounds of time and space if only for a moment" ... as another flash of thunder disrupts my thoughts, i decide to end this piece here.....the urge to quietly hear the echoing silence has finally won the battle...

I trust you...

 Trust is a small word ...and the phrase "i trust you" is very commonly used.....but when this phrase is uttered, written or expressed, does the person saying it realy trsut you ? or is it possible that behind such confidence with which this phrase is said, there lingers a silent doubt or may be just a fear of the unknown.........

  There are some people whom you trust......oh now even i have used this very common phrase but lets move on with what i was saying.......you believe that when everybody will doubt you....even disown you these would be the few or may be just that one who would still stand by your side, take your hand and say.......do'nt worry i trust you....and suddenly all the despair is gone and there is peace in your soul.............but when there is even a hint of doubt from these people your hopes are dashed and you feel like a bird who has lost its way home in the dark..... so the next time you say "i trsut you" to someone make sure you mean it because your trust could change their world and your doubts can bring them down like a bird shot out from the skies................

(dedicated to the few...very few, i trust)

Of kings and king makers.......

On the battle ground stood a triumphant young man....wind blowing through his hair...eyes shinning with joy.....sweat on his brow speaking volumes about his efforts and endeavours.....confidence in every move he made. On the other end far far away in a dark room sat an old man ......a stack of books to one side and handwritten notes scattered to the other....walls decorated with maps and ancient calligraphy...... satisfaction and content brimming from his face; he donned a smile as he looked out of the window into the heavens .......this has been the story for centuries ......of kings and kingmakers.....

 Every pile of clay has the potential to become the finest pot but it is the talent and ability of a potter that changes that potential into a substantial existence........ a Katana is a simple sword but in the hands of a Samurai, it becomes a lethal weapon.....

 For some it is their destiny or may be a chosen course of action to bask in the sunshine of glory while others embark upon a more anonymous yet a far more influential path, they are the brain, the guiding force behind the success of great revolutions and kings. They are the teachers who nurture the budding talent and make a fledgling shoot a strong and solid tree. 

 In history we have heard the phrase "all hail the king"........i think we have credited king with success a bit too often. While Arthur ruled ...the man who ruled Arthur's thoughts and mind was Merlin.....Alexander may be remembered as "Alexander the great" but the key to greatness was the teaching of Aristotle. 

 As a kid and even today most of us want to be kings or at least be like kings.....but sometimes when i sit back and think i would want to be a kingmaker rather than a king .......... and experience the satisfaction of gazing out of the window of my dark serene room into the heavens and beyond and see the pile of clay taking shape and becoming a  cherished piece of art...............................................

 

But who hates the spotlight and you and i are no different...........

When you hit the bottom the only way to go is up

Despair, instability and a glimpse of chaos ; this is what is happening in the place we call home......everyday we ask ourselves the same set of questions when is this gonna end? how will it end? who will be our saviour? then we move on with our busy daily routines and forget about these questions.... never giving a moment to look for the answers..... the answer to these questions are very simple...each one of us is an answer...each one of us is accountable for the situation our homeland is in today....

 you say leaders are the problem.......corrupt leaders......government not doing enough..well the government didn't elect itself......we voted for these people didn't we......we trusted them to change our future without looking at what they had done in the past.

  Extremism playing havoc with our social fabric .....who's to blame.....didn't you and i let these so called preachers ; preach nothing but sectarianism......we didn't stop them then how do you presume you can stop them now when they have developed such a following ......

 Nepotism, favouritism.....but we have to ask ourselves are we not doing this.....??? Foreign hand destabilising our country??? who's becoming the handy man for those foreign forces........

 

 We had said goodbye to despair on the eve of independence........all divisions among us had disappeared in the pursuit of a common cause........we are a people who have laid down their lives for the honour of the green and white flag.......the sweat of our brow had provided the shine to the star and crescent.........but slowly we strayed from our course and today we stand at a cross roads where our existence is in question............the time to accept responsibility is now.....lest we may not even be alive to repent

  

We have hit the bottom and now the only way to go is up.......and there is not gonna be any ride that we can hitch to get there ...step by step inch by inch we are gonna have to get there ourselves even if we have to crawl....we have to believe in our abilities .....make wiser decisions as a nation.....we need to unite and firstly accept that there are problems we need to resolve then the solutions will come forward.....we will have to take care of the seconds and then minutes, hours, days and centuries will take care of themselves.......we will have to say no to sectarianism, religious hatred.....regional and lingual biases. We will have to chose our leaders more wisely and these leaders are there among us ....only those who know how you and i feel can provide a solution for our woes..........our fate is in our own hands...we are the ones responsible for what will happen to us....... each one of us is a solution to our woes.....all we have to do is to wake up to this responsibility and play our role...it is time we rose from the ashes like a Phoenix..........and 17 million hopes, efforts and wills can certainly rekindle this dying flame.

50 years young :)....

The global icon of eternal youth.... an inspiration to girls all over the world....turned 50 on 9th March ...... almost all girls and a few boys love this character........may be because it embodies their dream of beauty, glamour, style and a have it all lifestyle........even at 50 she seems as young and classy as ever....the popularity of this doll as such an icon makes me think...may be everybody needs an ideal, an inspiration ...just something to believe in. We all need our little world where we can be what we want to be ......barbie unlocks the door to that wonderland for all the Alices out there................

 i must admit even at 50 she looks more stunning than many 20 year olds out there :P............

 

  

Nostalgia

Nostalgia........it is something amazing .........you just step back into time and close your eyes and everything that was there once........ returns!!! 

 Some would say its our own memory, our mind playing tricks with us......making us see what is'nt there..... but the way i see it its something much more than that........its about the bond you develop with people, places.........even things...

 that feeling you get when you walk past the play ground where you played in your childhood, that sudden something that brings a smile to your face when you open that old text book and find that note written by a friend........., that something that brings that tear to your eyes when you walk past that bench where you sat with your departed friend whom will never come back.......thats Noatalgia !!!............its just grips you and takes you for a roller coster ride into your past.......it is a feeling far more amazing and gripping than love, hatred, friendship and everything else because it is that one feeling that brings all of it back........its that magic door that allows you to revisit your past...where evrythng is as it used to be..........it could give you tears...its could bring a smile in the most adverse of times........that is the magic..........that is nostalgia