A Joker... A Freak...

Many say that a vibrant smile is an end to many a problem this world faces. Sometimes the smile stems from eternal bliss, and on other occasions it is a facade all painted and glowing hiding all the pain. So choosing to smile and as they say sharing smiles is a choice either those take who are truly happy or those who may be torn from the inside yet  there is enough in them to contain this pain to their heart and not let it pass to the face.
One may choose to be a joker, yes a joker! People choose to be freaks. Because what that gives you is a shell, people rarely are capable enough to see beyond the paint and lights. They can rarely, if ever judge the true cause of a smile! Yet there is a lingering sense that there would be understanding. There would be an eye deep enough to see beyond the many layers you have built around yourself. But becoming a joker, has its own price, a price we pay in terms of credibility. People can feel sympathy for a criminal who steals to feed his children , yet never will they feel sympathy for that joker. Because the criminal and his motive are not hidden yet the joker and his motive are shrouded in mystery.
All who chose to hide behind the persona of a joker or of a freak, know they never will be taken seriously. They don't demand to be taken seriously, they don't demand respect. They don't want anything from you, but never think, that disrespect doesn't hurt them.
There are days when the hurt is so much that the facade is crumbling, They are barely holding it together, it is like a nuclear reaction reaching critical mass. There are days when the silent volcano can take no more and then it just explodes. The lava that might burn everything is a symbol of the pain it had encapsulated in his heart.
When a joker ends his performance and bows down to salute the crowd, in that moment when all of you are clapping and laughing, hidden behind all the gloss and light a tear escapes and rolls down his cheek. Before you even saw it, it was lost and before you even noticed the joker smiled again...
Before you even noticed the freak shouted once again and you dismissed it as cynicism...

Pain of the soul...

They say that the human soul can endure so much more than its mortal abode. Standing on the coast like a rock, lashed by waves day and night... for time beyond measure. The soul can carry on, it can even heal the wounds and scars of the body. Like the sun rises everyday to shine and to illuminate, so does our soul. It steps forward everyday, the temporary moments of doubt and hopelessness are like short spells of cloudiness.
 But what if one day the sun never rose, what if one day the stern rock got shattered to pieces. Everything will be engulfed by the cold darkness. With the guardian on the cost defeated,the angry waves would stroll in land. What if one day the pain got so intense that the soul broke down! Would the mortal abode heal this immortal creation. The soul drenched and cold, stretched so much that it is about to yield. Like the light coming from galaxies far away, the spark that shines just before the darkness will travel the distance, it will reach you! But by then it too will be a glimpse of what was.
 I turn to you, my hands outstretched, my soul weakening, before i am torn to pieces. Heal me, for the pain of the body i can live with, but the pain of the soul, even death cannot cure.

You...

In the cold swept winter night
In all the awe in all my fright
In all my joys for all my plight
In all the pain of every lost fight
O dearest O friend though I can't show
You are the sword for my battles & wings for my flight