Happiness... Choices and Optimism

I recently had a discussion with a few people about happiness and its link to the choices we make. Below is the summary of the discussion and conclusions i drew from this discussion. 
 Not every option u pick will make u happy and not every decision u will take be the right one... learn to live with that... learn from it and move on. not every choice u make with the best intentions will come out the way u wanted, don't let the guilt kill whatever little joy that thing might bring... learn and try to take the best from something even if it is not how u intended... if everything turned out the way we planned, this wouldn't be life and we would all be in heaven... never let guilt take away your small joys and your imagination... reality will hurt... and trust me i know it... it will leave scars on your soul...but that's just a lesson... do u know they say experience is what you get when you get nothing from some en devour... move on move forth with this new experience.
 
life never is fair...it never will be... so make ur choices... see how they turn out... not all will be good.... and not all will be bad... the thing with joys and happiness is that they are reclusive creatures... they like their solitude and problems n sorrows well they gang up... yet happiness is something inside each of us... the journey has to be undertaken by ourselves ... we may find people who will aid us in this journey, their may be events that speed up the process but in the end... its a choice we make... life will beat u down so hard you will never want to get up but then you get up once again... you move on you find happiness in your sorrows... in moments of failure we look for something positive... it is in our system... in our soul... we are built with a fight of hope and hopelessness within ourselves... belief is what separates a moment of peace from utter insanity.

In the end it all comes down to belief...
 

Forget them not...

7 years on from that fateful day when the earth shook like it had never before in our lifetimes. A minute passed like a year passes and it seemed that the earth would shake today until it left nothing standing. We lived through that moment and moved on, but in that moment the world for many had come to a standstill,forever!
 The fear and horror of that moment haunted all of us for the moments and days to follow. The scenes would captivate our imaginations for many more days, months and years to follow. The height and depth to which human spirit and character could fall was brought to the fore by the moment of fear we had lived through. The fear, the horror, the sadness brought us to life as humans, the opportunity created by the destruction unmasked many animals living amongst us as humans. These vultures fed of the dead, while many saints saved whatever semblance of life they could. But throughout this whole time we witnessed the power of fear driving human nature but what we also saw was the power of forgetting driving human nature.
 When fear made many afraid of the very neighborhoods they once inhabited, the power of forgetting what these souls had gone through made other take advantage of them. We are strange beings driven by fear, but stranger still is how we forget that fear when it suits us.
  Today even the images of that destruction, do not evoke fear amongst many of us, the fear that once transformed into compassion and care for the affected. Prayer services were held then, today that moment forgotten when millions of lives stopped forever. The power of fear may be immense when we experience it but then again we just forget... we just forget!

(A silent prayer for all those who lost their lives on October 8th 2005, may their souls rest in peace Ameen!)

The search for peace... peace within!

I have recently met a lot of people who are in search of that elusive peace that stems from within our soul and engulfs us in a protective blanket away from the troubles and problems. Yet what is interesting is that the more they searched, the more desperate they became and more restlessness touched their soul. This is interesting but this is exactly what i have been through and still go through phases of it, though less frequent than before. Peace be it between powers of the world or the powers of the soul, is a rare commodity. To strike that perfect balance we go to such lengths and extremes that the search for peace becomes the most restless part of our lives, and slowly this frantic search takes away whatever little semblance of peace that we had.
I am not experienced enough in life and in this search to guide anyone, but i do have a theory. Sometimes we have to let go of the desperate search, and leave ourselves be. We have to let ourselves float on top of the currents of life. We have to be like that twig that floats on top of the stream, it too is in search of a destination but it has stopped the frantic search and has let the means to get to its destination upon that flowing stream.

We use the peace and calm of the sea as a metaphor and yes the sea is a big teacher at least for me. It shows that to attain that peace you have to absorb so much and bear much more. People observe the sea from its shore, where its vastness casts an image of peace and serenity with every sunset. Yet the never ponder that all the storms and lashing waves that the sea has to bear that no one watches are absorbed in its big heart. The sea attains its peace by being accepting. It touches every shore equally be it white or black and it absorbs everything. But then there are moments when even this mighty picture of calm comes crashing to its shores and causes devastation, as if to say that it too is in search of peace by sharing what it hid in its heart. And from the sea i learn that peace cannot be eternal because mortality is in our essence. If we can let ourselves be, forgive ourselves and do not indulge in self pity, we too like that small twig and that mighty sea can attain our time of peace. Peace that will stem from within, peace that is heavenly but not everlasting. If we accept the mortality in our essence and sometimes instead of searching for it, let peace come to us, we too may be able to find that semblance of it, that will cease our restlessness and grant us ecstasy! 

Main kis ke hath pay apna lahoo talaash karoun...

While the prime minister indulges in enraged arguments citing his sons innocence, while the long march lawyer leader prepares his stinging response to protect the looted money stashed away in foreign accounts, while the lions of Raiwind roar only to back off when the time for the hunt begins, because there own paws are stuck in muddy grounds on hypocrisy. While new provinces are created and while every one is playing a tune of their own... The land burns, sons and daughters of this soil, returned to rest in the motherly lap of that same soil. Blood flows more often than the ravines do. While enemies circles above our heads like hungry vultures waiting for the last rites to be served, we consume our own flesh like cannibals, some in the name of religion, some in the name of sects and others in the name of democracy. While some bellies have never known a single pang of hunger, others strive for that one elusive meal that would relieve them of days of hunger. While some are so noble and their honor so important that blood of others can be used to draw the no go area around them, honor of others is open for sale in markets.

 While all of you seek change for betterment, yet you are so dismissive of any change in yourself for the betterment. While you search for the direction to divert the blame, you close your eyes to your own faults. While you preach silence in the face of all adversity and injustice, you still want a revolution. While the death of others is merely an item to adorn your newspapers, news channels and political election shops, it is actually the end of everything worth living for others.
And then you ask, why is all this is happening? While for some death of a dog on the banks of river Tigris was  a reminder that he will have to answer for this, others see humans, yes they are not statistics they are humans that are dying by the tens and hundreds every day and feel nothing.
While it is someone else's time to mourn the loss of their loved ones, remember the consequences of our actions catch us at times we expect the least. And stay assured it will come round to meet us one day.
 While Rome was burning Nero was playing his flute... The flames are rising to the sky and all we hear is the sweet tune of the flute, but stay assured soon we will all hear the bell toll for us. And when we cross over to the other side, all the sons and daughters of this land that were buried in blood and ash will ask us, " main kis ke haath pay apna lahoo talaash karoun...". While yous still can, find the answer to this question, better still find a way to stop the tune of the flute and putt out the flames. Because if you do not do so while others burn today, tomorrow it will be our abode that turns to ashes.

Idealists and the never ending trials of time

The world is a very practical place and  idealists are hardly suited for long term survival here. The world has called them lunatics, freaks, a threat to society, some were even blamed to be anarchists. Yet the reality of today was once a dream of some lunatics, fully committed to their cause, to their ideal.To achieve any major goal a bit of madness is required. Mere mortals they may seem yet their spirit has an element of immortality, it is like an indestructible element that never goes away. This is may be God's gift to them a quality of immortality, though in the minutest proportion, yet enough to change the ways considered as norms by society. But even after gaining so much from the madness of these lunatics, society still persecutes them. Every new age has its on trial for these so called lunatics.But whenever we aim for a task, whose magnitude instills a fear in us, we look for examples, examples of these mad men, these people truly committed to their ideals.

  We all want examples because they inspire us... help us believe that the dwindling light deep within us is capable of lighting the path beyond the realm of darkness. Yet those people who became examples, i like to think never thought about looking for examples... they just knew their light will fight the darkness and guide them through and just started walking. With each step arose a fear of the unknown and the path filled with sharp edged rocks of reality yet they walked and though most the stories have ended in tragedy or failure, yet i still believe that they succeeded. As i once said, an idealist , may never be able to withstand the trial of time and society. Because he/she is but mere bones and flesh and a mortal existence. Yet if the idea they perished for lives on in us even today, then that is the most fitting response by an idealist to the trials and inquisitions of time and society. A testimony to their success which gets covered by dust of the hardships and calamities they had to endure. Not every end is as well scripted and acted out as in movies, this is life and the trials of time and society still are as unwavering as ever. And so are the lunatic idealists, unwavering and committed to their cause as ever. And to the day this spirit lives on, dreams of today would become the world of tomorrow yet in every age to come society will still have the same non acceptance for these idealists, because in the world of today they show us the visions of tomorrow!

23rd March...we need a resolution again!!!

Hey look its 23rd March again... and guess what its on Friday this year and that means a long weekend! WOW what fun. Face it this is how most of us think about this holiday. I am not spoil sport or someone who wants to ruin your fun, its nice that something historical is marked with a holiday and its a time for some relaxation and fun.Yet it is also a time for soul searching and to take a moment to ponder have the objectives been achieved. On 23rd March 1940, a resolution was passed and coupled with an iron will and untiring struggle the resolution became a reality.
Today faced with corruption, hunger, lawlessness and staring down a never ending abyss, we need a new resolution. But before that we have to conquer our fears, our political affiliations, our linguistic borders. Today we have to become one, we have to become the people if not unified by any affiliation. But at least we are united by pain, by agony and by the frustration that is growing with every passing day. We blame these feelings on those that have power and are in the high and mighty positions and yes they are responsible and in time would have to pay their due share, but the truth is that the responsibility of the situation we find ourselves in lies with us, each and every one of us!
But why have we found ourselves in this place where we see nothing but darkness, it is due to fear. We have always sacrificed our liberty, our rights and our freedom because of our fear. But whenever even for brief fleeting moments in our history we have forsaken fear and have believed in ourselves we have achieved things, against the worst of odds and have rescued hope from the very jaws of the abyss that grips us today. Be it the cornered tigers of 1992, be it the single unit that stopped the charge of a whole brigade on BRB in 1965, be it Abdul Sattar Edhi, be it Jinnah, never has fear seemed so powerless than when we have donned the armor of belief and  have decided to devote ourselves to a cause, to an ideal!
Today we need this resolution once more, we need to forsake political sympathies, we need to forsake fear of the high and the mighty, we are the people , we are the power!!! And the sooner we realize it the better. But this power does not mean an utter lawless and destructive approach, it requires a systematic upheaval of the system that was made for slaves and not free men. It requires the devotion to this ideal and a state of constant evolution to make ourselves worthy. It requires unity, faith and discipline.It requires the belief that throughout history to make a difference only a few committed people are required, we need to change ourselves and prepare ourselves. We need a new resolution to make Pakistan free of these blood thirsty animals, who feed on human flesh, dreams and hopes of the people. We need to get rid of them all, from those who clad themselves in a veil of religion to carry out their high handedness to those who use modernity in all its nakedness to relieve ourselves of our rights. We need to rid ourselves from all those who follow a doctrine of necessity, their necessities at the cost of the people.
If you do not rise today, if you do not make a promise, then years from now, you may have a life but you will not have a meaning to it, Just like today you have a holiday but no understanding of its meaning!
Happy Pakistan Day to All of you!

Of roaming ghosts and a semblance of peace within

Today a piece of news brought me to writing this piece, and it said "A year after whole neighborhoods full of people were killed by the Japanese tsunami, rumors of ghosts swirl in Ishinomaki as the city struggles to come to terms with the awful tragedy" 

Yes a whole town flooded with ghosts, ghosts of those who died in that one instant... in that one flash. The reasons complex, intricate yet interesting build up many theories. Some say it is part of the healing process as society comes to grips with this great tragedy. Others link it to the great sense of loss and some say it is due to the sudden and intense nature of the grief suffered by the residents. They fear going to parts of town that were wiped out completely. 

Yet i ask myself, i was not there then why do i grapple with ghosts and fears of my past everyday of my life. These ghosts that roam corners of our heart, haunt our soul where do they come from. No tsunami hit the shores of my soul and wiped out the residents, it was but the normal waves that lash the shores everyday! 

Today those grieved citizens, me and may be some of you also see those ghosts but isn't that because all of us are but in search of that true inner peace. Humanity today strives in a tiring en devour to latch on to some semblance of inner peace. Today don't we search for some semblance of belief with which we can cling. For ages we have credited our success  to our hard work, yet never for a moment we realize that whenever a power has become too strong, a counter balance either by luck or some calamity has always existed. Whether we believe it or not there is a power far greater and stronger than us. 

Yet that semblance of peace will not arrive by virtue of messiahs, it will only arrive when humanity again starts to be humane. When humans are not commodities, numbers or statistics, only then will our souls darkest corners shine, only then will the haunting ghosts peacefully pass on to the other side. We have ceased to be humans, our true cause and soul lost in lust, greed and relations based on need. We have willfully ignored the quality, that was being a human and treating a fellow being as one and have lost our inner peace. Ghosts haunt us, pain drives us to insanity, fears roam free every moment. In the debris of our soul and crumbled abodes of our hearts ghosts roam and we fear to go there. Yet our only solace is to reach deep within a grasp the last shreds of humanity left in us and then sow a new crop, build a new abode. Only then will the souls gain an easy transition to the other side where they will shine like angels, smiling down upon us from the heavens above.

A Joker... A Freak...

Many say that a vibrant smile is an end to many a problem this world faces. Sometimes the smile stems from eternal bliss, and on other occasions it is a facade all painted and glowing hiding all the pain. So choosing to smile and as they say sharing smiles is a choice either those take who are truly happy or those who may be torn from the inside yet  there is enough in them to contain this pain to their heart and not let it pass to the face.
One may choose to be a joker, yes a joker! People choose to be freaks. Because what that gives you is a shell, people rarely are capable enough to see beyond the paint and lights. They can rarely, if ever judge the true cause of a smile! Yet there is a lingering sense that there would be understanding. There would be an eye deep enough to see beyond the many layers you have built around yourself. But becoming a joker, has its own price, a price we pay in terms of credibility. People can feel sympathy for a criminal who steals to feed his children , yet never will they feel sympathy for that joker. Because the criminal and his motive are not hidden yet the joker and his motive are shrouded in mystery.
All who chose to hide behind the persona of a joker or of a freak, know they never will be taken seriously. They don't demand to be taken seriously, they don't demand respect. They don't want anything from you, but never think, that disrespect doesn't hurt them.
There are days when the hurt is so much that the facade is crumbling, They are barely holding it together, it is like a nuclear reaction reaching critical mass. There are days when the silent volcano can take no more and then it just explodes. The lava that might burn everything is a symbol of the pain it had encapsulated in his heart.
When a joker ends his performance and bows down to salute the crowd, in that moment when all of you are clapping and laughing, hidden behind all the gloss and light a tear escapes and rolls down his cheek. Before you even saw it, it was lost and before you even noticed the joker smiled again...
Before you even noticed the freak shouted once again and you dismissed it as cynicism...

Pain of the soul...

They say that the human soul can endure so much more than its mortal abode. Standing on the coast like a rock, lashed by waves day and night... for time beyond measure. The soul can carry on, it can even heal the wounds and scars of the body. Like the sun rises everyday to shine and to illuminate, so does our soul. It steps forward everyday, the temporary moments of doubt and hopelessness are like short spells of cloudiness.
 But what if one day the sun never rose, what if one day the stern rock got shattered to pieces. Everything will be engulfed by the cold darkness. With the guardian on the cost defeated,the angry waves would stroll in land. What if one day the pain got so intense that the soul broke down! Would the mortal abode heal this immortal creation. The soul drenched and cold, stretched so much that it is about to yield. Like the light coming from galaxies far away, the spark that shines just before the darkness will travel the distance, it will reach you! But by then it too will be a glimpse of what was.
 I turn to you, my hands outstretched, my soul weakening, before i am torn to pieces. Heal me, for the pain of the body i can live with, but the pain of the soul, even death cannot cure.

You...

In the cold swept winter night
In all the awe in all my fright
In all my joys for all my plight
In all the pain of every lost fight
O dearest O friend though I can't show
You are the sword for my battles & wings for my flight

My soul, my land

 

My barren soul,my barren land
Woes,tears and blood stained sand
I long and pray for that moment of peace
The first drop of rain on my outstretched hand...